ALIENS OVERVIEW
The Interstellar Zoo: Galactic Shareholders and the "Jungle Cruise" Reality
Reptiliandude clarifies the nature of Earth’s isolation, stating that the quarantine applies strictly to humanity while major interstellar shareholders and “sources of future capital” are invited to chaperoned tours of the planet. These “tourists”—a term Reptiliandude uses as an insult—are given limited access to observe Earth’s unique flora and fauna as a marketing strategy to encourage investment, while handlers highlight their role in keeping humanity from self-destruction. He darky compares a major human war during these tours to a guide on a Disney Jungle Cruise shooting a animatronic hippopotamus to safely entertain the boat. Garbotalk reacts with disgust at the revelation, comparing Earth to an intergalactic zoo where extraterrestrial elites casually spectate human suffering and military conflicts for entertainment and exploitation. Meanwhile, Reptiliandude emphasizes his own integration into human society, expressing a deep aversion to being viewed as a “guru” and instead directing troubled individuals who contact him to support local battered women’s shelters and food banks.
ALIENS OVERVIEW
The Interstellar Zoo: Galactic Shareholders and the "Jungle Cruise" Reality
Reptiliandude clarifies the nature of Earth’s isolation, stating that the quarantine applies strictly to humanity while major interstellar shareholders and “sources of future capital” are invited to chaperoned tours of the planet. These “tourists”—a term Reptiliandude uses as an insult—are given limited access to observe Earth’s unique flora and fauna as a marketing strategy to encourage investment, while handlers highlight their role in keeping humanity from self-destruction. He darky compares a major human war during these tours to a guide on a Disney Jungle Cruise shooting a animatronic hippopotamus to safely entertain the boat. Garbotalk reacts with disgust at the revelation, comparing Earth to an intergalactic zoo where extraterrestrial elites casually spectate human suffering and military conflicts for entertainment and exploitation. Meanwhile, Reptiliandude emphasizes his own integration into human society, expressing a deep aversion to being viewed as a “guru” and instead directing troubled individuals who contact him to support local battered women’s shelters and food banks.
Image: Discovery River Boat attraction at Disney’s Animal Kingdom Theme Park (Photo by Discovery River Boat via Wikimedia Commons)
Source: RD (via GT), "Look whose come for a visit!" r/reptiliandude, Reddit, (21 August 2017) https://www.reddit.com/r/reptiliandude/comments/6u2mx6/all_about_the_assembly/
ACuriousHumanBeing: How can there be tourists if there is a quarantine?
reptiliandude: You’re the ones under quarantine.
Sources of future capital are encouraged to ‘tour’ the facility to spur further investment in the same.
Providing chaperoned opportunities for the largest share holders to observe first hand the unique flora and fauna of this world, while placing an an emphasis upon our own influence in providing stability to a species which otherwise would have destroyed itself by now is just good marketing.
Major shareholders are often given greater access, but are still not given the full run of the facilities.
My referring to them as ‘tourists’ is meant to be an insult to them as well as to to those promoting the jaunt.
A major conflict between the nations would be the equivalence of the old Disney jungle boat ride where the tour guide has to shoot the hippopotamus in the face, so the boat ( and the tourists ) can get away safely.
Of course, we could probably accomplish much of the same thing just by showing them your YouTube comments, but it wouldn’t be quite as spectacular.
ACuriousHumanBeing: Oh lord, youtube comments; 4chan without the creativity.
ACuriousHumanBeing:
Ah I see.
Thank for the clarification of these ‘tourists’.
reptiliandude:
I’m really surprised you didn’t pick up on that and needed further explanation.
There must really be some strong weed in your neck of the woods.
By the way, check out the animation on Google.
XD
ACuriousHumanBeing:
My family has…unknown issues with weed and possibly awakening Schizophrenia. So I don’t know about trying it. Not until I know my brain better.
You forgot the ”. ‘Tourists’/”tourists” is sarcastic and implies a different meaning that indicates the term use is false in some sense, it’s cause they’re in air-quotes, an aspect of our songs. Tourists without them is serious and is thus taken as such.
I read it as one might read an off key note. Wihtout the proper accidentals, the song cannot be fully appreciated by its original meaning.
reptiliandude: Ah… I should change that then. Thank you.
ACuriousHumanBeing: No prob bob. 😛
garbotalk: “To the left are the American humans. They possess many nukes and will point them at us if we try to harvest or overwrite them!”
question: Your popular culture references never cease to surprise. ‘Full run of the facilities’…I feel so used.
reptiliandude: Like I said…
I saved my species over a thousand years of trying to ‘get’ what humanity was all about.
If I spoke to you on the street, you wouldn’t know me from ‘Adam.’
And it’s really better this way…
If people knew what I really was, they would be expecting ( and perhaps, even pressing me for ) waaaay too much ‘guru-esque’ bullshit than my patience could possibly bear.
question: Good ambassador fit for humans methinks. Gurus are creepy; complete with extended handshakes to convince you to join his compound in Sedona. Definitely not the vibe I get off you.
reptiliandude:
Nor will you ever. I really hate that shit.
I get private messages and emails from troubled people all the time.
If they ever want to give me something in return, I simply ask them to give it to someone who needs it more than me.
Then, they usually respond within a week that they ran across a battered women’s shelter, or a food bank that they had never noticed before and I know that they’re on the right track.
garbotalk: This reveals their cavalier attitude and feelings of superiority. To visit us like a zoo and marvel at the opportunity to enrich themselves from our suffering, then consider how best to exploit us and our planet is disgusting.
Perhaps they’d like to try one of us on for size and get practice at overwriting us. I’m sure it’s fine with them if a few of us get brain hemmorages, as long as it makes for a good show!
They could get some inside scoop on the source of their connections if they visit an abortion clinic. Protesters outside will add some drama to the mix for them.
Or perhaps they could visit the St. Jude children’s hospital to see all those cancer kids percolating some life extension cancers for them.
Or even take a tour of any hospital in the world to see how sick we are from the many contagions they’ve so generously shared with us.
I’m sure they’ll really enjoy the Middle East conflict or the Korean/American demonstrations of military weapons. They’ll think humans are so funny trying to kill each other when the real enemy is right over their heads hiding in a cloud!
Such a fun vacation for them!
